Mistakes We All Make in Respectful Parenting (and How to Fix Them to Raise Emotionally Strong Kids)

Respectful parenting is undoubtedly a path filled with good intentions, dreams, and deep desires to do what’s best for our children. But it’s also a path full of bumps, moments when we feel lost, overwhelmed, and sometimes even guilty. Because, let’s face it, who taught us how to be parents? No one handed us a perfect manual or gave us all the answers. And that’s okay. Because parenting isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being human. It’s about loving, making mistakes, learning, and growing alongside our children.

In this article, we’re not here to judge you or point fingers. No. Here, we want to embrace you, to tell you that you’re not alone, that we all make mistakes. And those mistakes, even when they hurt, are opportunities to become better, to connect more deeply with our children, and to raise emotionally strong, confident, and, above all, loved human beings.

We’ll talk about those common mistakes that many of us unintentionally make. Mistakes that sometimes go unnoticed but can leave marks on our children’s hearts. But don’t worry, because we’ll also give you tools—not to be perfect, but to be more aware, more empathetic, and more loving. 1. Not Validating Our Children’s Feelings: When Their Tears Hurt Us, But We Don’t Know What to Do Picture this: your child comes to you crying because they lost their favorite toy. And you, in an attempt to calm them down, say, “It’s not a big deal, stop crying.” Or maybe, in the middle of a tantrum, you blurt out, “Stop crying, it’s nothing serious.” And in that moment, without meaning to, you’re telling them that their feelings don’t matter. That what they’re feeling isn’t valid.

Why is it a mistake?Because when we minimize or ignore their emotions, we teach them to hide those feelings, to tuck them away in a corner of their heart. And over time, that can become a heavy burden. It can make them feel misunderstood, doubt themselves, and struggle to express their emotions in the future.

How to fix it?Start by validating. Look your child in the eyes and say, “I understand you’re sad. It’s normal to feel that way when we lose something we love.” Or when they’re angry because they don’t want to leave the park, try saying, “I see you’re upset. I know it’s hard to leave when we’re having so much fun.”

It’s not about fixing everything for them, but about being there for them. Let them know that all their emotions—sadness, anger, frustration, or joy—are valid. That it’s okay to feel what they feel. That you’re there to hug them, to listen, to understand.

Children whose parents validate their emotions are 40% more likely to develop emotional intelligence. And that, dear parent, is a gift that will last them a lifetime.

2. Saying “No” Too Often: When “No” Becomes a Wall How many times a day do you say “no”? “Don’t run,” “Don’t touch that,” “Don’t yell,” “No, no, no.” And while we often say it with the best intentions, constantly saying “no” can build a wall between us and our children.

Why is it a mistake?Because a repetitive “no” without explanation can lead to frustration, resistance, and, above all, disconnection. Children don’t understand why they can’t do something—they just hear one rejection after another. And that can make them feel restricted, without the freedom to explore and learn.

How to fix it?Try alternatives that explain the “why.” Instead of “Don’t run,” say, “Please walk slowly so you don’t get hurt.” Instead of “Don’t touch that,” try, “That’s not safe. Let’s play with this instead.”

It’s not about removing boundaries, but about setting them with love and understanding. Explain the reasons behind the rules, guide them instead of just saying no.

Children whose parents explain the reasons behind rules are 30% more likely to follow them willingly. Because when they understand the “why,” the “what” makes more sense.

3. Comparing Them to Other Children: When Comparisons Hurt Their Souls “Why can’t you be as tidy as your brother?” “Look how well-behaved your friend is.” “When will you be as studious as your cousin?” Phrases we might say without ill intent, but they can leave deep wounds in our children’s hearts.

Why is it a mistake?Because comparisons make children feel like they’re not enough. That they need to be like someone else to be loved or accepted. And that, dear parent, is a burden too heavy for their little shoulders.

How to fix it?Focus on your child’s individual strengths. Instead of comparing them, celebrate what makes them unique. For example, instead of saying, “Why can’t you be as tidy as your brother?” try, “I love how hard you work on other things, like drawing. How about we practice being tidier together?”

4. Using Inappropriate Words: When Words Hurt More Than Actions “You’re a mess,” “You never listen,” “Why can’t you behave?” Phrases that, in a moment of frustration, might slip out without thinking. But those words, even if said in the heat of the moment, can stay etched in our children’s hearts.

Why is it a mistake?Because words have power. They can build or destroy. And when we use negative language, we’re telling our children that they’re not good enough. That there’s something wrong with them.

How to fix it?Use constructive language. Instead of saying, “You’re a mess,” try, “I see there are a lot of toys on the floor. How about we clean them up together?” Instead of “You never listen,” say, “Sometimes it’s hard for me to get your attention. Can we work on that together?”

Children who receive positive and encouraging language are 50% more likely to develop a growth mindset. Because when we speak to them with love, we give them wings to fly.

5. Not Setting Clear Boundaries: When a Lack of Limits Creates Chaos Sometimes, out of fear of being too strict or of our children not loving us, we avoid setting clear boundaries. But a lack of boundaries isn’t freedom—it’s confusion.

Why is it a mistake?Because children need boundaries to feel safe. Without them, they can feel lost, anxious, and struggle to self-regulate.

How to fix it?Set clear and consistent rules. “In this house, we put away our toys before bed.” “We use kind words when talking to others.” And do it with love, explaining the reason behind each rule.

A Hug for You, Parent Who’s Doing Your Best Making mistakes in parenting is part of the process. It’s human. And what matters most isn’t being perfect, but being willing to learn, grow, and love a little more each day.

Every day is a new opportunity to connect with our children, to validate their emotions, to set boundaries with love, and to use language that empowers them. Don’t judge yourself for past mistakes. Focus on what you can do today to be the best version of yourself as a parent.

Because at the end of the day, what matters most isn’t perfection—it’s love. And you, dear parent, are already giving the most important thing: your heart.